Camelflage! For a Sleeker, Smoother, Uh…

Ladies, I would not presume to speak at you about your undergarment needs.  (I do not even like to utter the word panty.)  But there is a website and a product out there that needs mentioning, and it is selling “visual privacy undergarments.”  But is this, I mean overall in the grand scheme of things not just specific, easy to mitigate circumstances, an issue, this “visual privacy” (read:  fear of unintentional cameltoe overexposure)?  Like frequently enough that one should sit hunched over the drawing board to come up with Camelflage, which is a a portmanteau whose origins you’ve no doubt surmised.  But still, let’s hear from the creator:

It all started one day in yoga class…

Cute tight little yoga pants, front row, right by the big mirrors for the whole class to check out my yoga poses, and something else…the dreaded…”cameltoe.” That’s where the idea for Camelflage was conceived. I looked at department stores, on-line for a solution [Oh, what she must’ve seen by Googling “cameltoe”!  — Ed.] for this problem. There was nothing. There were blogs and YouTube videos posted of women complaining about the same problem “cameltoe,” and how embarrassing it was for them. They were needing a solution too. So, I designed a patent pending women’s panty that has a built in flexible, breathable, insert to smooth out her “Labia Majora” AKA “cameltoe.”

I feel like — no offense mind you — this needs to go into the “This Is a Thing That Is Real?” file.  But according to the testimonials on the website they are comfortable, and great.  Yes but HOW does it work?:

Here’s to confidence.  In tight situations.  And to not being “that girl.”  Also:  If I can take nothing else away, I will now be incorporating the term “Visual privacy” into my lexicon.  And if that graphic weren’t enough, well, seeing is believing:

So smooth!

Ladies! Until the pendulum of fashion swings back, and it is we men who are over-worried about powdering our wigs, or shimming our plumber’s cracks, trussing up our belly fat (Oh, we are doing that now already?), and obscuring the dreaded moose knuckle,  I salute your commitment to bearing the aesthetic burden, and presenting to the world flat, visually appealing labia majora.

Bonus:  Here is L7, performing as Camel Lips, in John Waters’ Serial Mom.

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