Michael Cunningham Writes a Slasher Movie

librivoxahauntedhouse500Author Michael Cunningham, writer of ambitious, sensitive and sprawling novels wherein often someone bakes a cake, has penned a slasher flick.

Cunningham’s script, entitled A Kill Room Of One’s Own, finds the wrathful spirit of Virginia Woolf — accidentally summoned back from beyond by a group of Women’s Studies majors dabbling with the dark arts in their dorm room — bludgeoning Cambridge students with the stones she keeps in her wet, mildewy overcoat, leaving behind the bloodied corpses and a puddles of river water. Or not. Variety reports:

[The] story concerns a shy but brainy high school girl who returns for senior year after having slimmed down six dress sizes. She finds herself flirting with the handsome English lit teacher, but the mutual crush turns deadly when the teacher’s obsession with the student compels him to exact maniacal revenge on everyone who was cruel to her.

And then he bakes a cake.

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3 Responses to Michael Cunningham Writes a Slasher Movie

  1. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
    And the cake is fail.

  2. jellykean says:

    wait I’m so confused, is this real? I feel like my mother the first time she read the Onion

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