Spencer Pratt Is ‘the White Jay-Z’

If you are a purist about rap music, I’m sorry.  Your genre has once again been sullied.  Somewhere on the level of giving your great aunt the gift of a Whitman’s Sampler, only to find someone squeezed out a turd in one of the candy squares.  By which I mean the attention vortex that is Spencer Pratt is planning on releasing a rap album.  Perturbed in part that frat rap phenom Asher Roth broke out,  Pratt is set to counter with whatever subset of the genre — attention whore rap? — he can manifest.  “I’m the white Jay-Z in the game. I’m doing the baller thing. I’m more for the streets.” Which streets?  I’m going to request a Google Maps Street View for confirmation.  Anyway!  Here is list of things Spencer Pratt is more like than “the white Jay-Z”:

Siegfried and Roy’s white tiger Montecore


Dr. Zaius




Bounce dryer sheets


A Popple


A sad clown painted on black velvet


White noise


Previously: Paris Hilton’s Lady Junk Akin to a Luxury Good

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4 Responses to Spencer Pratt Is ‘the White Jay-Z’

  1. SIN says:

    This is my personal letter to Spencer Pratt. This is not a comment about your show. I don’t watch TV so I don’t even know what your show is about. This is about your aspiring career in music. Please don’t call yourself an MC or even a hip hop artist. Your lyrics are weak and are very far from Jay-Z. It’s fools like you that give hip hop a bad name. It’s no surprise that you like Soulja boy, because he is probably the worst rapper out there. Why not try something else that would actually make the world a better place…. like killing yourself.

  2. Leah Popple says:

    Hey my last name is Popple. Was that toy popular back then?

  3. Popodopolis says:

    Cool beans! I like these stuffs. You’re all really cool. Love, Mimi

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