Oftentimes it is said that the internet must be blown up, but never was the message so poignantly driven home than with Barbara Walters’ recent visit to the suspendered talk show host Larry King, wherein they enacted a scene of Beckettian bleakness. Here is the transcript of the two existential clowns performing their brief one-act entitled Reasons to Blow Up the Internet…Or, I Twatted on Your Tweeter.
KING: And, by the way, you and I both Twitter.
WALTERS: You know, we don’t Twitter. We Tweet.
KING: Oh, that’s right.
WALTERS: We Tweet ourselves. It is Twitter, but we Tweet.
WALTERS: How do you like how I speak the language?
I Tweeted that — that I’m on this program tonight because we didn’t talk about it on “The View” today.
KING: Yes, I saw that on my Twitter.
WALTERS: So I Twittered…
KING: I received that.
WALTERS: You saw that?
WALTERS: You received my Tweet on your Twitter?
KING: I’ll tell you…
WALTERS: Can you believe it?
KING: I’ll tell you a Twitter later.
[The Internet explodes. Curtain.]