Would You Rather? Lost-At-Sea Edition

Somehow, while sunning in Central Park this Sunday, the conversation turned towards being stranded out to sea without water.

“You can use a turtle’s pancreas to filter the salt out and drink it,” offered Wingfield.

“If you’re cast adrift in the middle of the ocean, the last thing on your mind would be to find a turtle to utilize for filtration,” I said.

“How would you even go about finding the pancreas?” That was Mel. “And I’d be more worried about sharks than trying to find a turtle.”

“I don’t know,” said Wingfield. “That’s what a science teacher in high school taught us.”

“If you do come across a sea turtle, you should just harness it and ride it to shore,” was my suggestion. “Better yet, hope for a dolphin. They’ll either save your life or try to rape you. It’s 50/50.”

“If a dolphin got me to safety, I’d probably let him have his way with me,” Wingfield said.

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4 Responses to Would You Rather? Lost-At-Sea Edition

  1. I vote that we disband all traditional science classes and start teaching high schoolers a “Worst Case Scenario” series of courses on survival. Future dolphin-rape-victims will thank us.

    Also: wasn’t it to you that Mr. Hardesty in high school said, “Mr. Phem, please close the door. This room is not an asshole. It won’t close automatically.”
    ?

  2. ephemerist says:

    Was Hardesty the old white haired Leslie Nielsen-looking one? Also: I don’t think he said that to me, maybe to someone in class with me? He said lots of, er, humorous and “off the cuff” remarks though, that’s for sure.

    There probably is a college course based entirely around the Worst-Case Scenario books.

  3. operatorla says:

    so I love reading your blog because I like to figure out who you were hanging out with by their codenames…wingfield!

  4. ephemerist says:

    Wingfield! I had to develop that one ages ago for a covert conversation and it stuck!

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