A List Of Topics I Will Not Discuss During a Q&A

In the unlikely event I should ever participate in a question and answer session in a public forum:

  • Macrame (folk art vs. folk craft? Do not drag me into this melee!)
  • The relative effects of Boone’s Farm wine on the creative process (readily apparent!)
  • Whether or not in college I both owned and wore bowling shoes and numerous bowling shirts (though not at the same time — how gauche!)
  • The amount of time I spend in a museum’s gift shop vs. the time spent in the actual museum (you can see my excruciatingly detailed photo essay of museum tote bags on my Flickr page)
  • My unwholesome crush on Jack McBrayer, aka “Kenneth the Page” (or really, my crush on any ambiguously gay, nerdy actor and the fictional character they portray–that’s between me and my dream journal!)
  • My carbon footprint (I ain’t flying around on a private jet, am I? Let’s leave it at that)
  • Koolickles (they are the summer treat God didn’t know he intended to make, ’nuff said)
  • Amputee Porn (there’s a war on, ya know)
  • Jai-Alai (though if you want to help me pay off my gambling debts, please approach me after the lecture)
  • The relative effects of Boone’s Farm wine on the process of love-making ( readily apparent!)
  • When life begins (studies say it begins at 50, so who am I to argue with science?)
  • Decoupage (see: Macrame)
  • My (imaginary) pet monkey Bowie. (because he doesn’t exist)
  • The reason I am on this panel discussion in the first place (that’s just insulting)
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4 Responses to A List Of Topics I Will Not Discuss During a Q&A

  1. Boone’s Farm?
    Oh, Phem.
    *shakes head sadly*

  2. ephemerist says:

    @Sorcia: That’s why it’s funny. (Or not. it’s all subjective.)

  3. Belinda Reuven says:

    Hi, I cant understand how to add your site in my rss reader. Can you Help me, please :)

    • ephemerist says:

      @Belinda: There’s now a button to on the column to the right you can click to subscribe to the feed —–>

      Thanks!

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