Modern Day Godiva Upsets Plans for Ashland’s Independence Day Celebration

Oh mercy. Some sort of hippie modern day Godiva is dead set on riding her bicycle in Ashland’s Fourth of July parade clad in nothing but a hemp G-string. Of course, the fusty Chamber of Commerce does not want this to happen, as the 4th is a “family celebration,” but the determined freedom rider is willing to sue if she cannot attend the ceremony as she wishes, breasts bared and sweaty thonged butt astride her majestic bicycle. Oh, and she wants to lead some in-line skaters in this shameless travesty, whilst blowing a conch shell!

City Council member Eric Navickas said he’s on Moss’s side.

If she can’t be in the parade, Navickas said, it would be “an interesting commentary on our society that we’re willing to tolerate dead bodies through our aggressive foreign policy from the war, but not healthy, naked bodies.”

Moss told the Ashland Daily Tidings in an e-mail that if she can’t be nearly naked in the parade, she would “run around near naked protesting their unconstitutional(ism) and un-Americanism.” And she said, she would ask the American Civil Liberties Union for help in a lawsuit.

Yes,the stifling of Ms. Moss is truly a stern commentary on our nation’s foreign policy. Bike on, you nutty nearly-nude American hero you!

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One Response to Modern Day Godiva Upsets Plans for Ashland’s Independence Day Celebration

  1. Mandi says:

    It’s not me!

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