Have you recently found you’ve been broadsided by pieces about blogs and oversharing bloggers (Emily Gould) alongside reactions to actresses who sing (Scarlett Johansson) every time you peruse the internet? Well, lucky. Because your two favorite memes have converged into one, as it seems actress Jena Malone ( Saved!, Into the Wild) has recorded an anti-folky dirge called “Dirty Blog Ugly Word” with music outfit The Shoe. And while it is funny (kind of, for the year 2004) it is also, what’s the word? Bad.
But! She doesn’t hate blogs, per se, as she explains on IFC’s “Guest List” blog (meta-alert level reaching RED):
I love words. I love learning new words and outdated words and mixing and mashing old words til new words emerge. We have so many in the English language our possibilities are endless. That’s why when I come across a word that’s really horrible, that feels like someone just burped and wrote down the syllables, I feel somehow cheated. And for me Blog is just that kind of word.
I HATE the word so much! Blog. BBBBBBLOOOG. It sounds like an onomatopoeia (a word that sounds like it is). Like someone stuffs their mouth with the grossest, filthiest words until they explode and then, “Bloooooog” comes out. I think of vomit, belching, burping, and spitting mixed with an odd feeling of boredom.
Fear not! Malone offers her own list of words to substitute for the dreaded “blog”:
Pocketbloggett: A bit of kitsch, like a pocket rocket. This allows the blog to still be personal ie- We all have pockets, but still fun and explosive.
Dia-log: A compound word from “diary” and “log”… a little bit of a wink wink nudge nudge.
Mylog : personal, easy, boring…darn.
Web-jour: Web and journal…a slight nod to the daily aspect. Not perfect.
Wog: An even shorter abridgment to web-log.
Not there yet, kid. But keep trying. If you can erase the word blog from the vernacular, more power to ya!
(Final thought: though she’s in no way part of this, I’d still like to find a way to blame Diablo Cody for Malone’s song somehow. Expect it to be featured prominently on the soundtrack to the straight-to-video sequel to Juno.)