It was the latter end of Thanksgiving weekend and I was engrossed in a marathon of terrible movies on some cable network, I think maybe Oxygen (so not only were the films bad but also chick-flicky), when a commercial for the PedEgg came on, one of those innocuous As-Seen-On-TV products that are supposed to be such a convenient technological marvel you’re meant to wonder how you ever lived without them. The PedEgg, is a “revolutionary foot file” that basically acts like a cheese grater for your janky, callused feet.
All was well and good, until about half-way through the commercial when they open the device and dispose of approximately a cup of skin shavings into the trash. Finely ground foot dust! (Pictured.) And that’s one of their selling features: “Best of all, PedEgg™ has been designed to collect all the skin shavings in a convenient storage compartment allowing you to use it anywhere with no mess.”
I nearly yacked my turkey leftovers all over the coffee table. The image of foot flakes still haunts me, haunts me I tell you.
Earlier: Pooping 2.0