J.K. Livin’

catfancy.jpg In his “Media Ink” column, Keith Kelly discuses the “new trend in magazine publishing: Put the word “living” at the end of a magazine’s title and enter the shelter category.” The latest to roll out is Men’s Health Living, an extension of Men’s Health, natch.

The issue includes ideas on home theaters and what’s needed for the perfect case of wine. And, of course, there is a generous dose of sex. “Lure Her to Bed,” screams one article on bedrooms, complete with a hot babe in lingerie reclining on what is clearly a guy’s bed. “Create an erogenous zone by choosing the right stuff for the most important room in your house,” proclaims the subhead.

Gak! But then again, why not right? You’ve got to have something to stock the Hudson News racks with in the airport. Herewith some other magazines I’d like to see tack on the word “Living” to their title and get the shelter treatment:

  • Rolling Stone Living. Aging Dylan fans can learn how to dress like those “emo kids,” with a how-to on copping a feel in the mosh pit without being pervy. Also: Lava lamps — Are They Making a Comeback? Top Ten Signs Your Daughter’s Best Friend Is Hitting On You. For dads who still wear leather jackets and like to pull out their old 12 string.
  • Scientific American Living. Seduce Women With Brains Not Brawn. Convert Your Garage Into a Fully-Functioning Laboratory–We’ll Show You How! Gadgets That Will Drive Her Wild in the Bedroom!
  • The Paris Review Living. What Wine to Serve When Seducing Your Emotionally Needy Grad Student. Stocking The Shelves: Twenty-Five Must Own Classics to Convey Poise and Pretension.
  • Bowhunter Living. Removing the Smell of Deer Urine From Your Laundry–Tips and Tricks! No-Brainer Venison Recipes In Under Twenty Minutes. Accenting Your Decor with Taxidermied Animals.
  • Barely Legal Living. Depilation: A Must Do! How to Craft the Perfect Online Profile to Snag an Older Man! How to Tell Him You’re Really Thirty-Two: A Breakdown of the Breakup.
  • Cat Fancy Living. Maybe It’s Time to Give Lesbianism a Try! Five Other Uses for Kitty Litter! Finding a Man That Will Love You and Your Pussy (Cat)!

Still Living [NYP]

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