A Quibble: What Constitutes an Appetizer?

french-fry.jpgThis evening I attended a lovely little book party with fellow bloggeur Jane Gavin. Towards the end of the night I ended up “networking” with a freelance writer who went from zero to crazy in six seconds. How does go from talking about writing six minute educational scripts for flash animation videos to mentioning a “real” psychic friend who counseled her to stop taking the antibiotics prescribed for tuberculosis after three months because they were making her ill? Add in an anecdote about a bi-polar boss and an undergraduate degree involving tree frogs and it’s a recipe for WTF?! All with me barely getting in an “uh huh” and an approving head nod. Let’s not mention the gentleman on the periphery of the conversation who cured his Lyme disease with a combo of antibiotics (which he detests), Chinese medicine and cloves of garlic.

Though, not the point! The invite promised one drink ticket and appetizers. The drink ticket was procured upon entry, but the appetizers didn’t make an appearance until an hour into the two hour event. This was a post-work soiree, where most attendees were counting on the advertised appetizers to act as dinner, or at least buffer their tummy gainst that one free drink.

Now, when one thinks appetizers one might assume a mini-quiche, perhaps coconut shrimp, a chicken skewer or some sort of bruschetta. Hell, even pigs in a blanket will do in a pinch. When the harried servers did appear, there were two trays of the aforementioned appetizers. One tray contained hummus on pita. Okay, not a great appetizer but definitely in the realm. The next was a platter of french fries with a spicy mustard-y dipping sauce. French fries? Here’s where I get all Larry David, strapping on my curmudgeon pants. I’m not convinced that the french fry counts as an appetizer. Especially passed around a party during cocktail hour. As a side dish, yes. An accompaniment to a meal, why of course. But pommes frites, chips, as an appetizer? Eh, not so much. Then, the platter was just deposited on the center of the bar for guests to help themselves. This does not an appetizer make, right? Why was the french fry being passed off as the new passed appetizer. Or is a tray of fries now on par with a bacon-wrapped scallop?

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7 Responses to A Quibble: What Constitutes an Appetizer?

  1. Jane says:

    A French fry does not an appetizer make! We were scammed! And as a result, two glasses of wine on my empty stomach left me drunk. (But I had fun. Thanks for the invite.)

  2. ephemerist says:

    I’ve done a random sampling of people, and everyone agrees: fries = side dish.

  3. Yeah, pack of lies.
    And what is it about you that attracts people with psychic stories?! Do you have a crystal ball wristwatch or similar?

  4. ephemerist says:

    @S McN: Crystal ball wristwatch. NOES! Where can I get one?!!! I’d totally rock that.

  5. I know what you’re getting for Christmas then…

  6. Jane says:

    I want one too! Twinsies!

  7. cocogannon@gmail.com says:

    but fries rule! don’t hate on fries ok, because once we hate on fries we’re no longer humans

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