With wildfires still blazing in California, unrest with the Kurdish rebels, and a fainting Marie Osmond, it’s time to once again check the Rapture Index, the wholly unscientific chart that uses a blend of arcane and geopolitical metrics to “measure the type of activity that could act as a precursor to the rapture.”
So where stand we? As of October 22nd, the most recent update, we’re at 158 points, a gain of 2. Still, it’s better than when were were at the record high of 182 in September of 2001. Yet, we’re way above the relative spiritual comfort of the record low, in December of 1993. (Wait, the low point for the index was reached during the Clinton administration? Guess you apocalypse-baiting right-wing Republicunts are winning!)
So, uh, carry on, but keep watching the skies. In unrelated news, the allergy forecast for New York City looks pretty good for the next few days! Breath easy!