In this continuing installment of Gchats With Kelly, the semi-regular feature where I break up my work-a-day tedium with online banter, Kelly laments the fertility of her office. As is the custom, everything below is [sic] with ever so minor editing for clarity.
Kelly: the girl on the other side of me now is pregnant it never ends. I’m thinking about faking a pregnancy so I can get the maternatiy leave.
Ephemerist: that will only end badly. Like some sort of terrible sitcom plot. Then you’ll have to fake a miscarriage or something.