Gchats With Kelly: Human Resources Totally Supports You

word_bubble_right1.gifIn this thrilling edition of Gchats with Kelly, a semi-regular reposting of work-a-day chat sessions, we learn that some human resources departments totally have your back, no matter how egregious the offense. As is the custom, everything below is [sic], with ever so minor editing for clarity.

Kelly: so apparently this guy that we indirectly work for at [redacted], caused this car accident that killed people, then he left the scene, and is now being charged pleading guilty- and the [redacted] didn’t fire him, he ended up resigning guess i shouldn’t worry so much about calling in sick if they don’t fire you for road rage/ causing deaths Ephemerist: yeah. You pretty much have license to run amok now. Shit in the coffee maker? At least I didn’t kill anyone. Come to work drunk? Least I didn’t kill anyone. Go ahead, reassign me, and while you’e at it, I’ll be fucking your boyfriend. Nyah nyah. Kelly: trueHe is sort of a jerk, well to our dept at least so I don’t really feel all that bad which is cynical of me Ephemerist: when did this happen? is it on the news/interwebs? can I read about it? Kelly: i don’t know i think soYeah apparently by slamming his breaks the car had to swerve to not hit him lost control and went over the median and hit on on coming car dead on killing this poor 58 year old woman who had two kids

Ephemerist: that is why I don’t drive.ugh. and he wasn’t like, drunk. just drunk on rage.

Kelly: i know, he commutes something crazy like 2 hours a day HR is like, he is our friend we should support him

and [redacted]’s boss is likeum he went crazy with road rage and killed someone and if i was still superintendent of a school district and someone did that – we would fire them

Ephemerist: Right. calling all serial killers, totally apply for a job at the [redacted]…they’ll “stick beside you” and “support you”. HR is awesome.

Kelly: our HR department is totally crazy

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One Response to Gchats With Kelly: Human Resources Totally Supports You

  1. Kitty Bangz says:


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