It’s Monday, that soul-sucking day which heralds the return to the office grind, replete with jammed copy machines, aimless toil and annoying requests from your supervisor when all you want to do is refresh Gawker and nurse your weekend hangover. Thankfully, misery loves company. Herewith, another infamous Gchat with Kelly, where we introduce the phrase: “Well, punch me in the cunt.” As is the custom, everything below is [sic], with minor editing for clarity and content.
Kelly: wanna go see corrie sing back up for Laura Dawn and Moby at Arlene’s Grocery on Friday Apr 20th with me?Ephemerist: WHAT?
but that’s all the info i got
I can’t…why? moby? Arlene’s…does corrie sing? Jesus. That’s too much to contemplate for a monday.
Kelly: thank you
that was Corrie’s response to my ‘i hate my life, i’m in a total funk’ email
wanna come see me sing backup for LD/moby
Ephemerist: wow. she might as well have just plunged the knife in your chest herself
Kelly: yeah -actually i don’t think it was a direct response, just sort of ‘crossed paths’
Ephemerist: right. still…
why would moby even be playing at Arlenes? DOES corrie sing?
this is all too weird.
Kelly: i don’t know, she said something about them starting up this new blues
Ephemerist: that totally ruined the exciting news that Shake Shack is opening today
Kelly: band thing, think just for fun
Ephemerist: well, punch me in the cunt
Kelly: so you wanna come with me or not cunt puncher
THAT IS AWESOME
Ephemerist: sounds like a super hero. Villain, rather? Depends on your view of cunts, I guess.
Kelly: don’t think i’ve ever heard the pharse ‘depends on your view of cunts’
Ephemerist: Kicking this Monday off right. That’s what I’m about.