Gchats With Kelly: Monday is C*nt Punch Day

word_bubble_right.gifIt’s Monday, that soul-sucking day which heralds the return to the office grind, replete with jammed copy machines, aimless toil and annoying requests from your supervisor when all you want to do is refresh Gawker and nurse your weekend hangover. Thankfully, misery loves company. Herewith, another infamous Gchat with Kelly, where we introduce the phrase: “Well, punch me in the cunt.” As is the custom, everything below is [sic], with minor editing for clarity and content.

Kelly: wanna go see corrie sing back up for Laura Dawn and Moby at Arlene’s Grocery on Friday Apr 20th with me?Ephemerist: WHAT?

Kelly: yeah

i know

but that’s all the info i got

Ephemerist: WHAT

I can’t…why? moby? Arlene’s…does corrie sing? Jesus. That’s too much to contemplate for a monday.

Kelly: thank you

that was Corrie’s response to my ‘i hate my life, i’m in a total funk’ email

wanna come see me sing backup for LD/moby

Ephemerist: wow. she might as well have just plunged the knife in your chest herself

Kelly: yeah -actually i don’t think it was a direct response, just sort of ‘crossed paths’

Ephemerist: right. still…

why would moby even be playing at Arlenes? DOES corrie sing?

this is all too weird.

Kelly: i don’t know, she said something about them starting up this new blues

Ephemerist: that totally ruined the exciting news that Shake Shack is opening today

Kelly: band thing, think just for fun

Ephemerist: well, punch me in the cunt

Kelly: so you wanna come with me or not cunt puncher

Cunt Puncher


Ephemerist: sounds like a super hero. Villain, rather? Depends on your view of cunts, I guess.

Kelly: don’t think i’ve ever heard the pharse ‘depends on your view of cunts’

Ephemerist: Kicking this Monday off right. That’s what I’m about.

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One Response to Gchats With Kelly: Monday is C*nt Punch Day

  1. Susan says:

    Goddamn, girl, what are you doin’ to me? *punches her in the cunt*

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