Category Archives: Health
Raccoon Roundworm Is Your New Swine Flu
The menace known as Raccoon Roundworm, a “rare, deadly disease,” has brain damaged an infant and blinded a teenager in Brooklyn. Those are the only victims — so far! — of an illness contracted by consuming dirty raccoon poop. Still! … Continue reading
Posted in Health
Tagged disease, New York is a Petri Dish, raccoon roundworm, suck it swine
18 Comments
Not Just Lip Service
I was on the phone Sunday afternoon with my friend Julie when I noticed my left thumb had swollen to approximately twice the size of my right. As I had spent the last four days in a cold medicine haze, … Continue reading
Posted in Drugs, Health, mind tangents, Vanity
9 Comments
Abercrombie & Stitches
No good deed goes unpunished. Take wholesome American clothing company Abercrombie & Fitch, who donated $10 million dollars to an Ohio hospital. In a show of gratitude, the institution agreed to name the emergency department and trauma center after the … Continue reading
Posted in fashion, Health
Tagged Abercrombie & Fitch, bedside manner, the best medicine, think of the children
6 Comments
Gills or Tits
So, yeah, there was that news story that an assload of drugs, from sex hormones to antibiotics, appeared in “24 of the 62 major metropolitan water systems” according to the AP. (Of course NYC was not part of the test, … Continue reading
Posted in Health
3 Comments
Crazy Cat Lady to Torment You to the Grave (Then Spit On It)
Congratulations crazy cat ladies! (And crazy cat gays!) You may outlive us all, says science. “And new research suggests the benefits of cat ownership may even go beyond pain relief. According to the study, presented Thursday at the American Stroke … Continue reading
Posted in Health
Tagged crazy cat ladies, science, the power of the puss, the unexamined life is not worth living
1 Comment
Sleep the Clock Around
Two of my favorite activities, sleep and sex, are legitimately combined. But! Why is the distasteful label “disorder” affixed to the terms “sexsomnia” and “sleepsex”? Hello? I’m getting a solid eight and my rocks off? That’s win-win scientists. Stop judgin’. … Continue reading
I Am My Own Doctor
“Are you a ‘cyberchondriac’?” asks CNN. Why yes, yes I am, thank you very much. And while I appreciate your tips on how to not succumb to your neologism, I feel I may have a condition I need to google … Continue reading
Things Fall Apart; The Center Cannot Hold
I went to my doctor last week to see if I needed to be on some sort of antibiotic to wipe out the infernal illness that had kept me weakened and bed-ridden. After flipping through two issues of People magazine … Continue reading
Posted in Health
Tagged dieting, high blood pressure, my personal infrastructure is crumbling, sloth
11 Comments
Remembered Weekend
Do you drink to kill the pain, to dull the knife’s edge of memory, to erase “the heartache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to”? Well, guess what, some researcher types think that boozing it up may … Continue reading
Posted in Booze, Health
Tagged drinking, memory, the power of positive drinking, you're doing it wrong
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Busting the Gut Myth
I feel somewhat vindicated now that Dethroner uncovered research disproving the myth of the beer belly. The study showed that “The scientists found no link between beer consumption and obesity. They said the findings suggested there is no truth in … Continue reading
