Sweet Tea: An Appreciation

Wonderful is this Garden & Gun magazine appreciation of one of the best things the South has given the world: sweet tea.

To say Southerners drink sweet tea like water is both true and not. True because the beverage is served at every meal, and all times and venues in between—at church and at strip clubs, at preschool and in nursing homes. Not true because unlike water or wine or even Coca-Cola, sweet tea means something. It is a tell, a tradition. Sweet tea isn’t a drink, really. It’s culture in a glass. Like Guinness in Ireland. Or ouzo in Greece.

Indeed, yes! Then some theories as to why this beverage is the nectar of the South are bandied, some sort of pseudo-anthropological reasonings, but blah blah. It is because unsweetened tea is godawful. And lordamercy are there some gems in Allison Glock’s piece: “You can’t wash down pulled pork with water”; “The sugar in sweet tea is nature’s intestinal Drano”; “The health benefits of drinking sweet tea are akin to those of drinking icing.” These are not untrue in the least!

The author even offers up that she, whilst living in New York and homesick, had “sweet tea” tattooed on her arm. I am impressed. And suddenly thirsty.

Sweet Tea [Garden & Gun]

Wake ‘n’ Bacon

“Um…is this heaven?” writes the friend who sent me the link to this, the Bacon Alarm Clock, a product that “actually cooks a piece of bacon using two halogen lamps.” Yes, you get to wake up to the deliriously delicious smell of bacon. And if anything can awaken me from my slumber with gusto it is bacon. So, heaven, you ask? Looks pretty close to me!

[via Product Dose]

Corn Doggin’ It

Thankfully I didn’t read Newsweek’s list of the most unhealthy carnival foods before I went to the beach, where I ate boardwalk junk like it was my job and I was clocking overtime. Still, I would consume a corn dog again right this minute if presented to me, even if it “contains 375 calories and 21 grams of fat and 1170 mg. of sodium.” Luckily my doctor does not read this blog.

7 Most Unhealthy Carnival Foods [via Consumerist]

Crise de Lard

One might not expect to have a crisis of confidence whilst on a relaxing beach vacation. Though if one is an inveterate bacon lover and confronted with bacon ice cream, one might have their faith that bacon tastes good with everything irrevocably shattered. To be plain: it is AWFUL. It tastes as if you folded some Bacos into vanilla ice cream and then added a generous dollop of Liquid Smoke. In other words, like ass. And while I only sampled a spoonful, thus sparing my digestive tract the noxious concoction, my soul, I fear, is irrevocably shattered.

(On the updside: Mayan Chocolate Cinnamon ice cream is delish.)

Let Them Eat Bacon

Bacon is delicious, no more need be said on that topic. Yet, I’m always intrigued when people pair the goodness of bacon with other taste sensations, thereby increasing its powers tenfold. Like the Chicago chef who covers bacon in a layer of melted chocolate. Genius! “Bacon’s heyday has arrived” says the article about all the new ways bacon is being incorporated into recipes. When has it ever not been in fashion, says I. The culinary wonders that perfected the bacon chocolate have even gone one step further:

“We’ve put bacon in truffles and scones,” said Vinny Garcia. They’ve even added a strip to a cake called “the Elvis,” which contains chocolate, peanut butter and banana bread.

My mouth is watering as I type this. And yet, the health nuts and bacon deniers always must have their equal time.

“Literally the only bad reaction we’ve gotten has been from animal rights people,”Garcia said, ” but that doesn’t make sense because it’s sitting next to a ham and cheese croissant.”

Feh! Bacon for all! And stifle all dissenters.

Sizzling: Bacon is the food world’s hottest new flavor [AZ Central]