Anecdotes Pertaining to the Weekend Away

I’m back. Shrew? Tamed. Things happened, but nothing revelatory, other than: Victory Golden Monkey beer is the devil, I learned that much while away. What condition was my condition in the day after? Oof. Bad. And I only had one and a half, preceded by the much milder Lucky Kat. I point to an incident from earlier last week to back up my assertion: J-Link was watching the Obama speech with us, and accidentally on purpose consumed four or five Golden Monkeys. He stood up, nearly tripped, and went a-lurching down the hall. I located him outside in the driveway, where he had spent twenty minutes retrieving his bag from the back of his car. Later he was at the kitchen table, where S. Beaver was trying to get him to swallow some Advil and a big glass o’ water. Done and done. Yet somehow, about thirty minutes later, he had re-emerged from his room, clad in his pajamas, and was sitting at the same table cradling a laptop, punching at the keys wildly with one finger. “J-Link, what are you trying to read on the internet?” we asked. “All of it!”

He then responded to to every query with a smiley and chipper “shaddup” before finally lumbering to bed.

On the first night, we had this discussion: JP was like, “I’m basing my character on Foghorn Leghorn and Steven Tyler.” He was joking (sort of), but what a great “method” for some despicable acting teacher to foist on unsuspecting students. “Listen up, class, This. Is. Acting. You take a cartoon character, and a musician, and combine them. I’m Mr. Spacely, but also Lenny Kravitz. See what I did there?”

Later that night (or some other night, they all blend by the end) someone started one of those “Is [fill in the band name] overrated?” conversations that can be argued ad nauseum but never satisfactorily. This time it was about Radiohead. “They should’ve stopped making albums after ‘Ok Computer’” went the refrain.

“You know what the best Radiohead concert I saw was? The Hollywood Bowl,” said S. Beaver.

JP leans over and exhales a drag from his cigarette. “You know the worst Radiohead concert I saw? Coldplay.”

And…scene.

The Science of Beer Goggles

Yay science! It justifies all my bad decisions! Such as the case of “beer goggles.” Turns out, “People really do appear more attractive when our perceptions are changed by drinking alcohol.”

Thank ye!

As well as changing perceptions of attractiveness, alcohol also encourages us to engage in behaviour we would otherwise avoid. In a study by Robert Leeman of Yale University students reported they were more likely to engage in risky sexual acts after drinking – which could be due to alcohol lowering our inhibitions through a direct effect on the brain or by providing a convenient excuse for such behaviour.

Well, er, naturally, if I thought you were hotter after a few drinks, I’d be more apt to stick it to ya. In any event, that painfully horrifying moment of realization in the morning, as I skulk towards the nearest subway entrance regretting my choice of copulation partners, will now be mitigated entirely by this research! But yet, has anyone bothered to study scientifically the commonly held adage “if you wake up next someone hot, you’re the ugly one?”

A Very Merry Malt Liquor Holiday

People, there are many ways to entertain during the holidays. This is the one I prefer. Nothing says “gourmet” like malt liquor.

[image via Dethroner]

Usually I Just Stumble to the Nearest Bodega…

Sometimes, say at a party, running out of beer is considered an emergency. But it is not, in actuality, an emergency which requires the calling of 911. Though in fairness, unlike Brian Poulin of Connecticut, I’ve never tried to make a case for it. At least he didn’t drink and drive.

35-year-old Brian Poulin of Hebron was arrested Sunday after police said he called 911 several times and asked them to bring him beer.

Poulin was charged with disorderly conduct.

Police said he called 911 numerous times and told the dispatcher he was out of beer and asked them to pick up more for him.

Man Calls 911 and Demands Beer [WLBZ]

Busting the Gut Myth

I feel somewhat vindicated now that Dethroner uncovered research disproving the myth of the beer belly. The study showed that “The scientists found no link between beer consumption and obesity. They said the findings suggested there is no truth in the claim that drinking too much beer makes people obese.”

Guess I’m just going to have to place the blame on my friends for the ten-plus pounds I’ve put on in the last year or so. Better they bear the brunt of my dismay than the beer. The sweet, sweet beer.