Ring Ring

Scene: A restaurant.

Ha ha ha, that’s funny. Oh, wait, I think my phone is ringing.

Oops, nope. Go on…

She didn’t notice he only had one arm when he asked her out on the date? Seriously?

Wait, shit, I’ve got a text. It’s probably work…

Oh, sorry. “Fauxcellarm.” You were saying…

Wait, one arm and one leg?! Come the fuck on! Oh, he was seated? In a car? So she only saw the driving arm? I guess that explains it. So he shows up at her place…

Wait, I’m totally going to get a call in a sec, I can feel it.

(A beat.)

Shit. Sorry. Must be my “ringxiety.” Though usually, I can anticipate a call coming in. It’s like a sixth sense. I’m almost never wrong.

Anyway, go on, I’m totally listening to you. What are you having, the chicken or the fish?

You’re going to try the pasta? Hmm. No, no, I’m so happy to see you, it’s been ages. It’s just that I’m maybe, probably, most likely expecting a very important call. I have to be reachable, you know. What if it’s an emergency? Oh, have you seen my new phone? Well, go on…

Uh huh, but how was he able to cut his steak? Wait. Hold that thought. I’m going to go outside and check my messages, just in case.

End Scene. 

Is that your phone or your imagination? [Yahoo! News]

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